#6

I dislike peoples who ruin my plan.
or cant make it at very last minute.
This sucks. seriously.

They contribute to my anger level and it raises,
when and after the event.
I did try my best to plan it properly.

After so much effort I had put in,
the event seems perfect and starts soon,
here comes the spoiler.
Some of them cant make it last minute,
some of them even disappear,
left me alone and the blank plan.
The reason and purpose of the event is gone.
I just wasted my time and effort.

I found out its barely hard to control my emotions,
when cases like above happen.
I could went mad and start scolding.
Of cause not in front of them.

I meant to be a great emotional controller at past,
just more and more cases happen which trying to challenge my self control.
The immune system started to be weaken and finally,
I become a person who cant control my temper anymore.

I will not hide my feelings now but show them on my face.
That's the 1st level.
I will not remains silent now but scold when they are not around.
That's the 2nd level.
I will not control my temper anymore but express them 100%.
That's the 3rd level, which is the final level.

I don't know how long more I could still control my temper,
if 1 day I just goes savage, that's mean things are beyond my limit.

I am not a kitten, don't expect me doesn't have temper.
I just didn't show it because you guys are important to me.
As long as you didn't step on my limits,
don't let me experiences that feeling again..
Please.

#5

Exactly One Month That I Didn't Update.
There were many that I wish to write at here,
but at the end I didn't.

Times are the biggest retribution for our sins.
There was something I had gave up, something that what i really hope for.
Last time.

I thought I did a correct decision, I thought I can ignore it totally.
But I can't. And now I have to fight against my own emotion.
Obviously, I lose... again.

There were 5 of us at the past, which were brothers.
1 of them,1 had a attitude that I can't stand.
1 of them,2 I just can't look through his thinking.
1 of them,3 always neutral and don't bother about other things.
1 of them,5 was so pity.
And I am number 4.

5 being ignored by 1,2,3 at start, and he's different than us.
I am told by my master to take care of 5, as 5 lack of attention by others.
As the times goes, both me and 5 become best friend.

And later, everything seems settled and our relationship getting better.
Except 1 and me, I can't stand his attitude and ways of doing things.
Our distances getting far and I knew it cant be solved anymore.
Both of us stand strong on our own thinking.
Even until now, I still thinks that my standing is still correct.
I knows that I will not wrong, at least for this case.

Finally, 1 and me went into a argument. And it separates me, myself from them.
I still don't understand his thinking and his attitude.
That's the end of our brother-ships, me and him.

He crossed over my limit of perseverance,
he breaks the line that he shouldn't break.
And we are done.

Our master said
No matter what happens, you all are still a team.

Sorry, I cant accept his personality. So do him.
It's suffer if we forced our self to stay as a team.
And I decided to walk away. alone.

I can still remember how 5 express his feeling towards me,
he thank me for not giving up on him, giving attention to him,
didn't let him felt lonely.

Being a savior for others are great.
I wish I could help more peoples.

I am a bad man with a little bit of kindness in the deepest part of my heart,
fear me or leave me not.
Make your choices.