#6

I dislike peoples who ruin my plan.
or cant make it at very last minute.
This sucks. seriously.

They contribute to my anger level and it raises,
when and after the event.
I did try my best to plan it properly.

After so much effort I had put in,
the event seems perfect and starts soon,
here comes the spoiler.
Some of them cant make it last minute,
some of them even disappear,
left me alone and the blank plan.
The reason and purpose of the event is gone.
I just wasted my time and effort.

I found out its barely hard to control my emotions,
when cases like above happen.
I could went mad and start scolding.
Of cause not in front of them.

I meant to be a great emotional controller at past,
just more and more cases happen which trying to challenge my self control.
The immune system started to be weaken and finally,
I become a person who cant control my temper anymore.

I will not hide my feelings now but show them on my face.
That's the 1st level.
I will not remains silent now but scold when they are not around.
That's the 2nd level.
I will not control my temper anymore but express them 100%.
That's the 3rd level, which is the final level.

I don't know how long more I could still control my temper,
if 1 day I just goes savage, that's mean things are beyond my limit.

I am not a kitten, don't expect me doesn't have temper.
I just didn't show it because you guys are important to me.
As long as you didn't step on my limits,
don't let me experiences that feeling again..
Please.

#5

Exactly One Month That I Didn't Update.
There were many that I wish to write at here,
but at the end I didn't.

Times are the biggest retribution for our sins.
There was something I had gave up, something that what i really hope for.
Last time.

I thought I did a correct decision, I thought I can ignore it totally.
But I can't. And now I have to fight against my own emotion.
Obviously, I lose... again.

There were 5 of us at the past, which were brothers.
1 of them,1 had a attitude that I can't stand.
1 of them,2 I just can't look through his thinking.
1 of them,3 always neutral and don't bother about other things.
1 of them,5 was so pity.
And I am number 4.

5 being ignored by 1,2,3 at start, and he's different than us.
I am told by my master to take care of 5, as 5 lack of attention by others.
As the times goes, both me and 5 become best friend.

And later, everything seems settled and our relationship getting better.
Except 1 and me, I can't stand his attitude and ways of doing things.
Our distances getting far and I knew it cant be solved anymore.
Both of us stand strong on our own thinking.
Even until now, I still thinks that my standing is still correct.
I knows that I will not wrong, at least for this case.

Finally, 1 and me went into a argument. And it separates me, myself from them.
I still don't understand his thinking and his attitude.
That's the end of our brother-ships, me and him.

He crossed over my limit of perseverance,
he breaks the line that he shouldn't break.
And we are done.

Our master said
No matter what happens, you all are still a team.

Sorry, I cant accept his personality. So do him.
It's suffer if we forced our self to stay as a team.
And I decided to walk away. alone.

I can still remember how 5 express his feeling towards me,
he thank me for not giving up on him, giving attention to him,
didn't let him felt lonely.

Being a savior for others are great.
I wish I could help more peoples.

I am a bad man with a little bit of kindness in the deepest part of my heart,
fear me or leave me not.
Make your choices.

#4

It has been awhile that I was appearing at here.

There were so many things happening throughout the moment,
and i am lack of time to update my life.
Exam is over and now I am in holiday.
The question was tough, or maybe just above average.
I found out that I am not putting my full effort for the exam,
and now I am regret.

After math’s exam, checking my answer with my friends,
and I lost control and release my anger by smacking the paper to the floor.
2 of my friends who helping me to check answers was shock for my reaction.
Regret is the best payback for your laziness.

3 subjects are going to fail, maybe only biology will pass.
I screw up my 1^st STPM exam.

Okay, let’s change the mood.
Holiday had started and I have a great plan for it.
Just hope it will work this time.
I need money. I need more money.
There are so many things that need the money.

The butterflies that I raised,

will u show a miracle for me?

Just come back to me,

and hug me tightly.

I need somebody to love. 

:(

#3

Was Raining Almost Whole Day.
Weather Is So Suitable For Sleep,
But I Am Still Awake.

I Didnt Feel Tired.
In Fact I Enjoying The Silence Of Midnight.
With Soft Musics, Clear Mind.

Form 6's Life Is Dominating Me.
Everything Seems Ok For Me,
But When Exam Time Everything In My Brain Just Gone.
Gonna Fail All My Subject Again.
Maybe My Effort Wasnt Enough huh?

I've been around the world in the pouring rain

Feeling out of place, i'm feeling strange

Take me to a place where they know my name

Where everyone knows my name

I Want To Be The Famous One. 

#2

I Am Lost.
I Cannot Answer The Question
''Who I Like Now?''
Everything Is Changing,
Within A Second.

Tilting My Head Toward The Moon,
''Its Have Been Awhile That I Looking At U, I am Sorry''
I Said.
The Moon Was Once My Light For My Path.
And Now I Left Her Alone.

I Was Hoping That The Moon Would Forgive Me,
And Show Me What I Can Do Now.
Perhaps I Cant Grow Up Now, I Still Need Someone To Rely On.

Wake Me To Face The Cruel Of Truth,

Then,

Bring Me To The Paradise.

#1

I hope there is someone always be there for me,
to share my joy, sadness and dream.

I am noisy, when i am in front of peoples.
I am silent, when i am in front of fears.
I am greedy, when i felt lonely.

There are many things that i wish to share,
but i cant find anyone to share.
I had one faithful friend, however,
she is too far from me, she have her own life too.
And i try to not disturb her.

I was trying to attempt to lonely,
my phone was silent, my computer was silent,
like i had buried in darkness.
But i hope for someone to bring me out,
and cheer me up.

I have a dream.
That i wish i could be a great friend for everybody,
as they need someone to talk to,
they will find me.

It's too far for me,

to reach my dream.