#19

There are more and more.
Feelings are clumped together in my mind.
I wish to express it to someone,
but I found out there is no one to.

What I really wish is not comfort from the people,
but appreciation on what I had done for.
I don't hope for much,
but just a little happiness.
I wish someone will share their stories with me,
share their happiness, sadness, excitements with me.

I don't mind staying alone at popular for 4 hours.
Because I knew that I am waiting for someone, a company.
I loved the time where we were together,
more than what you expected.
You don't know how desperate am I looking for company,
just because I am alone almost all the time.
I am so scared of silence environment, especially when I was alone.

Save me. 

Call my name and save me from the dark.

-Evanescence - Bring Me To Life-

#18

18.
Such a special number that had brought me to different world.

I knew new friends, experienced new things, and
having a new aim.

I tried to get closer to you.
I started to study more, listening to english song,
learned to think as how you think, liked the things that you like.
All those things I did is just to get closer to you,
even though we are still far apart from each other.

I enjoyed the moment.
Your phobia towards the caterpillar, your excitement towards the betta fishes,
and your smile.

You told me you don't know who's your best friend,
I wished to answer I am.
I told you no one will understand what's on my thought,
I hoped you to answer I am.
You told me we are so similar,
I wish we are.
I really do.

 

#17

It's been awhile that I had this feeling.

The feeling that makes me gasping for air,
my mood is so down,

everything seems avoiding me,
even my friends.

I had tried to suppress my emotions,
but unfortunately I failed this time.
Every happiness in my mind, my memory
turns against me.

They made me felt that they are so unreal,
all the things that I went through was just a dream.

I was so desperate,
for a care, a hug or even a smile from my friends.
I need it cause I can't hold myself much longer.

There is always a reason for me to remain silent the whole day.

And it is always our friendship.
Or someone else.

My friends.
Please. Come to me. Don't let me down once again.
I need a place to comfort myself.